guilt and all the accompanying laughter please

for starters, i would like declare that i'm back to my old habit of not starting sentences with capital letters, though i would make every effort to punctuate. (holding shift or slamming the caps lock is just too troublesome for my feeble willpower.)

alright, GP. This is really one tough nut to crack. Yes, harder than those i had after lunch today.
sometimes i really don't know how i can possibly improve for this subject. its easy to convince yourself to read more, but the other subjects havent exactly been the friendliest companions to this poor, neglected one.

thats not really the point of today's input. well, in short, i think im embarking on the phase of the year when i begin to neglect everything else and study, or at least attempt to.

im not proud of it seriously, but walking out of the exam hall feeling like a complete fucktard for no apparent reason isnt exactly the most awesome sensation to kick-start your day with.

i find myself dragging my spirit along like a helium balloon threatening to escape my grip and fly off to the horizon.

i just couldnt do anything right for today, and its not the 1st time i've been thrown into such a predicament.

the effed up bit is, whenever i feel like this, i just wanna go home and study and trap myself within an impenetrable emotional barrier.

dude, sounds like you've got the post menstrual stress thing. without the menstruation.

maybe its the soya. ionno.

so i homed and slept for 4 hours, missing what could have been a kickass dinner with some awesome lovelies. its was a god-sent, a stress ball in every sense.

i missed it baby. all because you couldnt get your feelings right in one afternoon.

you were weary, dreary, listless, and a combination of all the synonyms of negative feelings that the english language has to offer. and all this, for a reason you don't even know.

about time i wrote about this, because i've been getting such feelings all too often nowadays.

i miss those days last year, when shit comes out of my mouth more readily than it escapes my rear, when i could be happy-go-lucky about everything. when theres always a tomorrow for something, when everyone's genuine interest in having fun meant that you've got a shopping bag's worth of reasons to push your bum to that gigantic compound on bukit timah road.

maybe this is the transition to adulthood, just that i hardly fathomed it to be as debilitating as that of men morphing into werewolves.

it really sucks doesn't it, knowing you have to survive the rest of the year with such frequent emotional uncertainty.

yubin